What Do You Call Yourself?

A few weeks ago I was working with another dietitian on a presentation about eating disorders and I was  reminded of some ideas that could be helpful to those of you who are struggling with your weight. 

A lot of how you feel is based on your perspective: Your perspective of yourself, your weight, your appearance; whether you call yourself "good" or "bad"; whether or not you feel you have willpower, or if you tell yourself you're out of control, or have ruined your day with a certain behavior.

The Beck Diet Solution talks a lot about this idea of perspective. We're encouraged to take a step back and see "what is really true in this situation"?  In fact, eating something not on our food plan has not ruined our day, made us into a bad person, or shown us that we have no control. It can be viewed as a learning experience, teaching us what led to that behavior and helping us figure out how we can avoid that particular action in the future.

Note the language that dieters often use, placing blame when an extra food is consumed, or exercise is skipped: "I cheated", "I was bad today", or "today was a complete failure" are what we often tell ourselves. 

And that's not true. You weren't a bad person because you made a bad decision.

And that's the key: learning to separate YOU from your actions, your behaviors and your weight.

To change from "I was so bad" to "I made a bad decision earlier today and now I'm going to fix it by adjusting my calorie intake/exercise"

To change from "I am fat" to "I have some extra weight I am working to get off my body".

Because the truth is, YOU are not your body fat any more than you are your hair or your feet or your fingernails. These are all parts of us that we strive to take care of and make nice, but when we have a "bad hair day" we never say "I am a bad person because my hair is frizzy" or "I am so out of control because I haven't fixed my nail polish chips"!

The truth is, maybe something was more important today than taking the time to get a pedicure or put on moisturizer. Maybe we had a sick child to take care of or a work emergency or a family crisis.
We strive to take care of our entire body--and all its parts--every day, but we are not perfect.

Say aloud, "I have some extra fat on my body I am trying to get rid of". 
How does that feel? 
Do you feel more empowered because the fat is not you?

This week, try to separate what you do and what you look like from who you are.

Let us hear your experience with this experiment below in the comments section.

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Get helpful posts 5 days a week, like this one:

Think Thin Thursday Tip: It’s important to remember that you’re not doing things like working on healthy eating, resisting cravings, and limiting junk food to punish yourself. Rather, you’re doing them so that you can achieve critically important and life-changing goals.

and this one:

Friday Weekend Warm-up: If you get off track this weekend, remind yourself, “There’s no such thing as blowing it for the whole weekend because the calories will keep adding up. Get back on track RIGHT NOW and make the rest of the weekend great.”

Help Finding Calorie Content in Restaurants

I wanted to let you know about some very helpful websites, since this week's chapter talks about planning ahead before eating out.

Most restaurants have a website where you can view their menu. In the near future, many menus will be listing the calorie content on the menu. Some restaurants are already doing this, like McDonald's and The Bread Company (Panera Bread).
See this list at McDonald's which shows you all their items that have less than 400 calories.
And this nutrition calculator on the Panera (St. Louis Bread Company) site that lets you check out the calorie content of their items.
There are websites for most chain restaurants where you can research menu items. I suggest making yourself a list for your favorite places with 3 or 4 menu items you like that are healthy choices. (Note, that although there are a lot of lower-calorie items, if you have other dietary restrictions-- particularly sodium--it will be difficult to find very good choices in many cases.

This table from the Burger King site lists several nutrient amounts for everything on the menu.

Here's another helpful site for dining out: HealthyDiningFinder.com
On this site, you enter your zip code and a list of 30 or 40 nearby restaurants appear. When you choose a restaurant it will show you all the "healthy" options. Usually this means items under 750 calories, so they might not all fit into your meal plan, but at least you'll know!
They will also show you how to make your item more healthy when ordering, such as "salad dressing is not included in the calorie assessment" or "substitute fresh fruit for potatoes" or "order without the side of rice".

I particularly love to use this site when I'm out of town and may not be familiar with the restaurants in the area. However, it mostly uses chain restaurants and it's not often you'll find a local Mom-and-Pop diner with the nutritional information listed.

In the case you don't know how to find out what's in your entree, just ask the waitress to communicate your needs to the chef. In most cases they are more than happy to put the dressing, butter, or sour cream on the side, leave the butter off the fish, or make the pasta with marinara sauce instead of alfredo sauce.

Now, armed with all the information you need, you can still enjoy eating out, guilt free!

Please, if you've learned some great techniques for making dining out while watching your weight easier, do share your tips with us!

What Motivates You? Pleasure or Pain

People are motivated to either get something they want, or to avoid something they do not want. Consider how this will help you avoid eating unplanned foods, or encourage you to be active when you aren't looking forward to an activity.

Ask yourself how you will obtain something pleasurable when you stick to your Beck Diet rules each day, keeping your food diary, planning your meals ahead, using your response cards when you're tempted to eat something before it's time, and incorporating activity times into your week:
- If I do this, how will I feel about myself?
- What kind of momentum will this give me?
- How much happier will I be?

Stopping in the moment can make a huge difference! Before you eat that tempting treat or plop down on the couch instead of going for your walk, just take 5 and consider the consequences.

On the flip side, skipping exercise, not keeping your food diary, giving in to temptations--how will these make you feel or what will they result in?
- What will I potentially miss out on if I stray from the plan today?
- What will it cost me (self-esteem? not being able to fit into that dress for the party? No change on the scale this week?)
- How will it hinder me: physically, emotionally, financially or spiritually??

Have a conversation with the "you" of tomorrow. Will tomorrow's YOU be proud of the decisions you make today? or will he/she be disappointed you were entrusted you to take care of his/her body?
How do you feel about the YOU of yesterday and the choices you made then?

Please feel free to leave your thoughts to share in our comments section.

Develop a Reward System

One helpful component of any weight loss plan is a reward system. Aside from seeing the number on the scale go down and finding your clothes fitting better, intermittent rewards will help you continue the good behavior changes you're attempting while you're in between weigh-ins.

What makes a good reward? As you probably already know, food of any kind does not make the list! It should be something you will look forward to, something you wouldn't ordinarily buy or do, and something so desireable you will hop on the treadmill for it when you don't really feel like it.

Some examples would be a book, a magazine, a massage, an item of clothing or jewelry, a short trip or a special pamper time just for you (perhaps a bubble bath, or a deal where someone else cares for the kids or pets for part of the day).

What does not work is something like a manicure if you already get one every week--if you're going to get one anyway (and you know you will NOT pass it up if you don't perform your weekly planned actions) it's not going to serve its purpose.

That said, some people do benefit from negative consequences: For example setting the goal "I cannot have my weekly manicure unless I work out 4 days this week". Skipping something you really want one week could have you make certain to get your workout in next time!
One of my clients uses earrings for her negative consequence. It's very important to her to have earrings on every day, especially since her ears are pierced. If she goes over her planned calorie intake, she does not put earrings in the next day and it makes her absolutely cringe to leave the house! There's also the chance, since she is local, that she might run into ME, and if I see her without earrings on, I know what that means!

Other things that do not cost money include time surfing the internet, time spent with friends or family, rewards other people can give you (like a foot massage from your husband!) or a visit to the library to peruse this week's magazine issues.

Think of what rewards would work for you, and what actions it will take to earn them.
How often do you want to reward yourself? Each day? Each week? or after several weeks?
Is there something you want to save up for that you can earn daily or weekly (earning minutes or dollars for following through, and saving up for a larger reward after a period of time).


Here is one idea of a beautiful and helpful reward called "Count Me Healthy Jewelry" http://www.chelseacharles.com/howtouse.cfm

Please list your reward ideas in the comments section--this is always a challenge to come up with!!

How Positive are You?

Being positive can play a big role while you're trying to lose weight. It can be devastating to your progress if you only focus on the negatives. Common thoughts in the dieter's brain are things like, "I was so bad last night [because of my snacking]"; "I cheated"; "I'm a failure" and other similar ideas that fill the mind with self-doubt and even guilt.
That's one reason The Beck Diet Solution encourages you to focus on your successes! Give yourself credit! And why we start off each call with "What did you do well this week?" and "What do you deserve credit for?"

Focusing on the positive keeps you in a frame of mind that encourages you to move forward: Yes, recognize what you did and how you could do it differently (better) the next time; but then move on and don't dwell on it.

There's a book called "Positivity: The 3:1 ratio that can change your life". The theory is, the more positive thoughts you have, compared to your negative thoughts, the happier your life will be.

Here's the website http://positivityratio.com/ where you can take a quiz, and find out what your number is!

Feel free to comment on your score and to bring your results to our next call.

Are You Having Trouble Making New Habits?

I heard someone say the other day, "In order to get rid of bad habits, you have to replace them with good habits".
Learning something new doesn't come easy! When you feel like you'll never get into the routine of keeping a food diary, putting your fork down between bites, or passing the temptation of the cookie stores in the mall, try to remember other habits you've overcome in your life.

Maybe you quit smoking or stopped biting your nails. It was tough, but you've done it and now it's not a part of your life anymore!

Think of things you learned to do that seemed difficult at the time: Getting the hang of knitting or crocheting; learning to drive (how tough was that?!); playing tennis or some other activity that requires coordination. Things that are different for us do not come naturally.
Don't be discouraged if these new habits don't feel natural right away. With practice, they will!

One of my favorite examples of developing a habit is brushing your teeth. Remember when you were a kid or, even better, when your own kids were young. How tough was it to get them to brush their teeth! You had to remind them, coerce them, scold them, and finally, probably stand over them to be sure they weren't just wetting the toothbrush so you'd think they brushed their teeth! It was soooo easy for them to just go to bed (or off to school) and not give the toothbrush a thought.

Now, how does brushing your teeth fit into your life?

Do you have to set aside a planned time for it the night before? Put reminder post-it notes around the house? Mark it in your appointment book? The answer is most likely NO!
You probably have a time you brush your teeth  that fits into your morning routine, and a time in your bed-time routine as well. 
Do you ever think about it? 
Do you ever consider, "Hmm, I may not have time to brush my teeth this morning because I'm running late" or "I really want to sleep in a few more minutes--I'll just skip the toothbrushing thing this morning to get that extra shut-eye"!
Have you often skipped brushing your teeth in the evening? Maybe you just had a rough day and want to get in bed with a good book so you skip it? Again, I'll bet your answer is a loud NO!

One day, this is how exercise/food diary/fill in the healthy-activity here will fit into your life.

It will be something you do. Part of your routine. Something you don't think about whether to do or not!

Stick with the tough time of establishing a new habit; of making the right actions part of your daily routine. Some days you'll struggle and some days you'll forget.

But one day, 30 minutes of exercise, planning your meals ahead, keeping your food diary, and all these healthy habits will just become part of your routine. And then you won't ever have to go on a diet again!

Well, it's certainly worth a try!

This interesting article offers two ways researchers found people lost weight: one, the 'put your fork down between 
bites" we've gone over. The second, might be difficult to do in public!

Leave your comments below please ;)

(ps. One of the authors referenced in the paper published was Brian Wansink--I highly recommend his book called, "Why we eat more than we think we do" which reads like a series of short stories which are, in fact, his research projects. He has a test 'restaurant' where he sets up all sorts of experiments, including watching people rate their meal and wine much higher on a scale of 1-10 when the wine label looks classy and the menu items are given descriptive names; and one of my favorites, hooking up a bowl of soup (only one of the four at each booth) to a large reservoir under the table that keeps the bowl of soup bottomless.... one young man commented on "how filling" the soup was!

Here's the link to the original article)
Happy reading!

Don't "Should" on Yourself!

Think about how often you say "I should" (either aloud or to yourself) and what it means to you.
"Shoulds" come with obligation, duty, guilt, comparison.

If you are always telling yourself, "I should lose weight" then who are you doing it for?
How compelling has it been in the past to lose weight 'because you should'?

Wants are cravings and desires; they pull you towards them and are associated with positive action or reward when you do/get them.

Try changing your language, and see how your perspective changes when your brain hears something in a different way:

"I want to go for a walk"
"I want to eat a healthy meal (with fiber/vegetables that will keep me satisfied, that I will feel good about)"
"I want to keep my food log/do my workbook homework after dinner"

This week, try changing some "shoulds" to "wants" and notice how differently you react.

Feel free to leave comments here!

Do you find nutrition information confusing?

Many people are constantly baffled about what is considered "good for you" and how to compose a healthy diet. Part of the reason is that science is constantly providing new discoveries. To compound this issue is a more insidious one: Every time an article is published, someone grabs and runs with it, posting "dangers" or "must have's" across the internet and news stations. Every day you see some article announcing "the 5 foods you must eat every day" or "an element found in coconut water prevents cancer" or "a byproduct of diet soda causes cancer" or "orange juice linked to diabetes".

If you paid attention to all of these contradicting announcements you'd find little continuity as far as figuring out what to eat: in fact, there are probably numerous foods on both the "must have" lists as well as the "avoid this or die" lists.

So what's a person to do?
A news report citing one article is nothing to get alarmed about. For every study showing the ill-effects of too much fruit juice you can find several on the merits of a variety of fruits; for every claim of the downside of drinking milk you can find benefits of a healthy dose of calcium and vitamin D. And for every claim that organic is necessary you'll find evidence that the non-organic counterparts are no different.

Adequacy, balance, and variety still appear to be the keys to a healthy diet!
There is no one good food or bad food.
There is no one must-have or must-avoid.
The guidelines set forth by the USDA (my plate.gov) are still good guidelines, as are the recommendations of the American Heart Association, The American Cancer Society, The American Diabetes Association and The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics: eat a variety of foods; limit fats and sweets; get plenty of fiber from whole grains and fresh fruits and vegetables.
None of these health organizations say nutrasweet causes cancer or you should be buying organic, or you must eat a tomato every day!

Here's an article by a reputable MD about the abundance of nutrition advisors who contribute to the confusion.

Feel free to post your comments!

Are You Giving Yourself Credit?

Remember how important it is to give yourself credit where credit is due!

Dieters often tend to beat themselves up for what they did wrong, or what they didn't do. That can lead to feeling badly about yourself, and sometimes that leads to either eating, or worse, abandoning the whole weight loss plan!

So remember to give yourself credit in some way--even if it's just posting it here-- for what you did right!

Did you get out for a walk today, even if it was shorter than you had planned?
Did you write down everything you ate, even if you ate more than you wanted?
Did you exercise two days this week instead of the four that you hoped you would get to?
Did you include more fruits and vegetables in your diet, even if you had cake too?

Let us know what you deserve credit for this week!
Establishing these new, healthy habits--even in small ways--will help you lose weight and keep it off for the rest of your life. The good things you do are far too important to be ignored!

Find 30 minutes a day to exercise!

Can't find 30 minutes a day to exercise?

Watch this video. Prepare to change your perspective.

It's 20 minutes long, but on the bright side it's very entertaining.

So sit back and be prepared to take notes to jot down your thoughts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo


If you think you can't find 30 minutes a day for exercise, think again and think hard.

Feel free to comment below :)

Laurie

Why Do You Want To Lose Weight?

Hi All!

Part of your "homework" this week (chapter 4, page 33) is to list the advantages of losing weight for you.
What are some of your reasons to lose weight? These will have to end up being compelling reasons--something so compelling it makes you walk right by the Cinnabon store in the mall without even thinking of stopping!

One way to get to a "compelling" reason is to ask yourself why your initial reason is important to you: If you say, "for my health", ask yourself, 'Why is this important to me?'

Hopefully, you'll come up with an answer important enough to really motivate you to get out and exercise, or to pass on the rolls at dinner.

Some examples are: 

For my health: Why is this important? "I'm borderline diabetic and I don't want to have to take insulin".

I'll feel more confident: Why is this important? "I feel out of shape just walking up stairs and it's embarrassing when I'm with other people".

To feel good about myself: Why is this important? "I'm often embarrassed to go out in public or meet new people--I feel like they are looking at me and how overweight I am. I would love to feel proud and have people see what good shape I am in".

Make it something you can really picture. It might be something positive and rewarding, or it could be that you are avoiding something very unpleasant (one gentleman was tired of having to ask for a seatbelt extension when he traveled by plane). Some people like to picture themselves in a particular outfit or at an event.

Try to come up with 5 if you can.

Let the comments begin!

Laurie

Get Ready for Week #1

Hi!

By now you should have received your workbook as well as the call-in information. Remember to bookmark this site, as well as the email with the call-in numbers, because they won't be posted anywhere else.

When you have time, look through the first 4 chapters of the book so we can discuss them on the call. In these introductory chapters, Dr. Beck explains how you need to set yourself up for success even before you start your diet.

I know some of you have already started eating healthy and making time for exercise, and that's great! Even if you're humming along fine right now, following the Beck Diet Plan actions will assure you don't fall off the wagon when stressful times would ordinarily knock you right off your good intentions.

Monday isn't the first day of your diet, but Sunday is the first day of our LifeChanging! Weight Loss Series.
Welcome to our group :)

Feel free to post a brief introduction below in the comments section (click on "comment") and let us know which call you'll be on this week!

Our "thought for the week": Your goal is to lose weight. But before you get to a goal, you have to make a decision. What have you decided that will move you towards your goal? Once you've made your decision, you'll be able to set some actions; then progress will occur! Please share in the comments section :)

Laurie

Welcome Spring Group Members!

Greetings to all Spring 2013 LifeChanging Weight Loss participants. We will be using “The Beck Diet Solution Weight Loss Workbook (the 6 week plan…)” during the next 8 weeks. 

Here are some general guidelines to introduce you to the course, especially for those of you who have not participated in conference calls or teleclasses before.

I’m Laurie Beebe, MS,RD,LD, your diet coach.

In a few days you’ll receive an email from me with the call in number for the conference call. A few minutes before it’s time for the call (8 pm Eastern time, 7 pm Central time on Sundays) just dial the number and you’ll be prompted to enter the access code, which I will also be sending you in an email. Momentarily after calling in, you’ll be connected to the conference line. If you are the first caller you'll hear some pleasant "hold" music. Just stay on the line and others will join shortly; Otherwise, there are others already on the line and you can just say “hi”!  

Within a few minutes, all callers will be on the line and we will be speaking to each other just as if we were all in a room together. At first, I’m going to ask you to state your name before you speak (for example, “This is Sally, and I’d like to respond to your question about food cravings”.) In time we will recognize each other’s voices and get to know each other a bit. I don't want you to be concerned about privacy. We will only use first names and you can speak as much or as little as you like. Calls will be recorded and kept until the next week's call so you can listen to the group conversation if you miss a call one week. Only group members will have access to these recordings. (You will get directions in the email with the call-in instructions on how to listen to a recorded call.) 

Calls will last approximately 50 minutes. You are free to stay on the line as long, or as short, as you like during the duration of the call. 

Now, there are a few rules I’m going to request because if you follow them it’s highly likely you will be successful in this program. And I want you to be successful! 

Request # 1:

-While we are all on the call, we’ll be able to hear everyone’s background noises just as you do when you are on the phone with a friend. It will be very distracting if someone is washing dishes, someone else is driving, another person’s dogs are barking in the background, and yet another is having a side conversation. For your benefit, as well as everyone else’s, I will request you find a quiet place with no distractions and that you not perform other activities during these calls. If background noise is not preventable for some reason, there will be directions on how to mute your line so we cannot hear you. If your line is muted we will not be able to hear you until you take yourself off the “mute” function.

Request # 2:

-In order to be successful with this course you will have to be able to set aside at least 15 minutes a day to read the day’s lesson and complete the activities in the workbook. Additionally it will be extremely helpful if you can start keeping a food diary. Occasionally, people have trouble with this and if this is the case for you, it’s a topic we can bring up during the calls and on the chat board.

You may need to set aside additional time for exercise/activity and meal planning/shopping. If losing weight is not your priority now, and you don’t find the time to attend to the basic necessities of healthy eating, exercise and behavior change, this isn’t likely to work for you.

You know by now, there is no magic bullet! But taking the time NOW to focus on changing your thoughts and actions will save you all the time in the future (not to mention aggravation, trouble, money, etc)you would have to spend to go on another diet!

Our first call will be Sunday, April 7th at 8pm Eastern time, 7pm Central time. You will hopefully have the book by then, and we will be talking about chapters 1 through 4 (although you are certainly welcome to start on your own as soon as you like!). During the first session we will be getting comfortable with the teleclass environment, getting to know each other a bit (as much as you are comfortable with) and talking about what to expect. Chapters 1-4 cover information about the Beck Diet Solution and we’ll talk about that, as well as what to expect in the coming week. I’ve included a schedule below so you can follow along and be sure you come prepared to each call. 

Week 1            Discuss Chaps 1-4; introduce chapter 5        April 7

Week 2            Discuss chapter  5; introduce chapter 6        April 14

Week 3            Discuss chapter 6 ; introduce chapter 7        April 21

Week 4            Discuss chapter 7; introduce chapter 8          April 28

Week 5            Discuss chapter 8; introduce chapter 9          May 5

Week 6            Discuss chapter 9; introduce chapter 10        May 12

Week 7            Discuss chap 10; introduce transition/questions   May 19

Week 8            Discuss how transition is going and any difficulties  May 26

As you’ll notice when you start the book, the diet doesn’t start Monday! You get some prep time and some planning to follow through with so when you start you are completely supported, prepared, and ready.  I know some of you are already on a healthy weight loss plan, whether it’s Weight Watcher’s, your own comfortable meal and snack pattern, or another diet regimen. The specific regimen you choose is not relevant to this class. The Beck Diet Solution helps you stay on track and stop telling yourself that it’s okay to “cheat once in a while” or that it doesn’t matter if you indulge this once, or that trips/holidays/special occasions are made for being a glutton! (If you are looking for a healthy diet plan one I would suggest is the DASH diet plan (click on the word DASH for the entire booklet).

Request # 3:

Judith Beck, the book’s author, is experienced using Cognitive Behavioral Change therapy and that’s how this weight-loss solution works. So you will need to read along each day, follow her directions, and not vary from the course. If something doesn’t work for you, you may decide to drop it in the future, but for now Request #3 is that you follow her directions explicitly: If she says, ‘always sit down to eat’ (and she does), then always eat sitting down. When she says, ‘Make a list of reasons you want to lose weight’ then make the list. If you skip days, lessons, steps and activities, you aren’t getting the full benefit of her therapy, and that’s what you came here for.

 A few notes about the chat board (this blogsite):

- The chat board is here for you to check the tasks for the week, ask each other for advice and support, discuss things you’re having trouble sticking with, boast about how great you’re doing, or make suggestions for others. 

- All comments are moderated to exclude viruses and spam, so you won’t see what you wrote being posted right away (it will likely take a few hours). 

- I will post here at least weekly, and if you've signed up for additional coaching packages, I'll be speaking with you in between calls for added support. If not, take advantage of coming here to communicate with your classmates, and I'll be there  for you every Sunday on the calls for questions, support and discussions about the week!

Request # 4:

I ask that comments stay positive and helpful, and that questions posted are specific enough to answer (such as “does anyone have suggestions to help me remember to keep my food diary after lunch when I’m getting distracted by getting back to work?” as opposed to “this food diary is a pain!”).

This arena can be a great way to support each other in between calls, especially if you aren’t able to make it to a call-in session one week. Staying in touch and remaining accountable to each other will be very helpful for staying on task each day and each week. Some of you may rarely visit the chat board while others will like to post something each day. It’s up to you how often you like to post, read, or participate on the calls.

It will be helpful if you can let me know when you expect you will miss a call. This way we can get started as soon as everyone is on the line. If you post about your week on the chat board, you will become accountable to everyone else on the call and we will expect you :)

I look forward to coaching you all through this great plan, The Beck Diet Solution, which has helped so many people lose weight and keep it off for life!

If you have questions about this post, simply click on the word 'comment' or 'reply' below!