What Do You Call Yourself?

A few weeks ago I was working with another dietitian on a presentation about eating disorders and I was  reminded of some ideas that could be helpful to those of you who are struggling with your weight. 

A lot of how you feel is based on your perspective: Your perspective of yourself, your weight, your appearance; whether you call yourself "good" or "bad"; whether or not you feel you have willpower, or if you tell yourself you're out of control, or have ruined your day with a certain behavior.

The Beck Diet Solution talks a lot about this idea of perspective. We're encouraged to take a step back and see "what is really true in this situation"?  In fact, eating something not on our food plan has not ruined our day, made us into a bad person, or shown us that we have no control. It can be viewed as a learning experience, teaching us what led to that behavior and helping us figure out how we can avoid that particular action in the future.

Note the language that dieters often use, placing blame when an extra food is consumed, or exercise is skipped: "I cheated", "I was bad today", or "today was a complete failure" are what we often tell ourselves. 

And that's not true. You weren't a bad person because you made a bad decision.

And that's the key: learning to separate YOU from your actions, your behaviors and your weight.

To change from "I was so bad" to "I made a bad decision earlier today and now I'm going to fix it by adjusting my calorie intake/exercise"

To change from "I am fat" to "I have some extra weight I am working to get off my body".

Because the truth is, YOU are not your body fat any more than you are your hair or your feet or your fingernails. These are all parts of us that we strive to take care of and make nice, but when we have a "bad hair day" we never say "I am a bad person because my hair is frizzy" or "I am so out of control because I haven't fixed my nail polish chips"!

The truth is, maybe something was more important today than taking the time to get a pedicure or put on moisturizer. Maybe we had a sick child to take care of or a work emergency or a family crisis.
We strive to take care of our entire body--and all its parts--every day, but we are not perfect.

Say aloud, "I have some extra fat on my body I am trying to get rid of". 
How does that feel? 
Do you feel more empowered because the fat is not you?

This week, try to separate what you do and what you look like from who you are.

Let us hear your experience with this experiment below in the comments section.

"Friend" the Beck Diet Solution on Facebook

Get helpful posts 5 days a week, like this one:

Think Thin Thursday Tip: It’s important to remember that you’re not doing things like working on healthy eating, resisting cravings, and limiting junk food to punish yourself. Rather, you’re doing them so that you can achieve critically important and life-changing goals.

and this one:

Friday Weekend Warm-up: If you get off track this weekend, remind yourself, “There’s no such thing as blowing it for the whole weekend because the calories will keep adding up. Get back on track RIGHT NOW and make the rest of the weekend great.”

Help Finding Calorie Content in Restaurants

I wanted to let you know about some very helpful websites, since this week's chapter talks about planning ahead before eating out.

Most restaurants have a website where you can view their menu. In the near future, many menus will be listing the calorie content on the menu. Some restaurants are already doing this, like McDonald's and The Bread Company (Panera Bread).
See this list at McDonald's which shows you all their items that have less than 400 calories.
And this nutrition calculator on the Panera (St. Louis Bread Company) site that lets you check out the calorie content of their items.
There are websites for most chain restaurants where you can research menu items. I suggest making yourself a list for your favorite places with 3 or 4 menu items you like that are healthy choices. (Note, that although there are a lot of lower-calorie items, if you have other dietary restrictions-- particularly sodium--it will be difficult to find very good choices in many cases.

This table from the Burger King site lists several nutrient amounts for everything on the menu.

Here's another helpful site for dining out: HealthyDiningFinder.com
On this site, you enter your zip code and a list of 30 or 40 nearby restaurants appear. When you choose a restaurant it will show you all the "healthy" options. Usually this means items under 750 calories, so they might not all fit into your meal plan, but at least you'll know!
They will also show you how to make your item more healthy when ordering, such as "salad dressing is not included in the calorie assessment" or "substitute fresh fruit for potatoes" or "order without the side of rice".

I particularly love to use this site when I'm out of town and may not be familiar with the restaurants in the area. However, it mostly uses chain restaurants and it's not often you'll find a local Mom-and-Pop diner with the nutritional information listed.

In the case you don't know how to find out what's in your entree, just ask the waitress to communicate your needs to the chef. In most cases they are more than happy to put the dressing, butter, or sour cream on the side, leave the butter off the fish, or make the pasta with marinara sauce instead of alfredo sauce.

Now, armed with all the information you need, you can still enjoy eating out, guilt free!

Please, if you've learned some great techniques for making dining out while watching your weight easier, do share your tips with us!

What Motivates You? Pleasure or Pain

People are motivated to either get something they want, or to avoid something they do not want. Consider how this will help you avoid eating unplanned foods, or encourage you to be active when you aren't looking forward to an activity.

Ask yourself how you will obtain something pleasurable when you stick to your Beck Diet rules each day, keeping your food diary, planning your meals ahead, using your response cards when you're tempted to eat something before it's time, and incorporating activity times into your week:
- If I do this, how will I feel about myself?
- What kind of momentum will this give me?
- How much happier will I be?

Stopping in the moment can make a huge difference! Before you eat that tempting treat or plop down on the couch instead of going for your walk, just take 5 and consider the consequences.

On the flip side, skipping exercise, not keeping your food diary, giving in to temptations--how will these make you feel or what will they result in?
- What will I potentially miss out on if I stray from the plan today?
- What will it cost me (self-esteem? not being able to fit into that dress for the party? No change on the scale this week?)
- How will it hinder me: physically, emotionally, financially or spiritually??

Have a conversation with the "you" of tomorrow. Will tomorrow's YOU be proud of the decisions you make today? or will he/she be disappointed you were entrusted you to take care of his/her body?
How do you feel about the YOU of yesterday and the choices you made then?

Please feel free to leave your thoughts to share in our comments section.

Develop a Reward System

One helpful component of any weight loss plan is a reward system. Aside from seeing the number on the scale go down and finding your clothes fitting better, intermittent rewards will help you continue the good behavior changes you're attempting while you're in between weigh-ins.

What makes a good reward? As you probably already know, food of any kind does not make the list! It should be something you will look forward to, something you wouldn't ordinarily buy or do, and something so desireable you will hop on the treadmill for it when you don't really feel like it.

Some examples would be a book, a magazine, a massage, an item of clothing or jewelry, a short trip or a special pamper time just for you (perhaps a bubble bath, or a deal where someone else cares for the kids or pets for part of the day).

What does not work is something like a manicure if you already get one every week--if you're going to get one anyway (and you know you will NOT pass it up if you don't perform your weekly planned actions) it's not going to serve its purpose.

That said, some people do benefit from negative consequences: For example setting the goal "I cannot have my weekly manicure unless I work out 4 days this week". Skipping something you really want one week could have you make certain to get your workout in next time!
One of my clients uses earrings for her negative consequence. It's very important to her to have earrings on every day, especially since her ears are pierced. If she goes over her planned calorie intake, she does not put earrings in the next day and it makes her absolutely cringe to leave the house! There's also the chance, since she is local, that she might run into ME, and if I see her without earrings on, I know what that means!

Other things that do not cost money include time surfing the internet, time spent with friends or family, rewards other people can give you (like a foot massage from your husband!) or a visit to the library to peruse this week's magazine issues.

Think of what rewards would work for you, and what actions it will take to earn them.
How often do you want to reward yourself? Each day? Each week? or after several weeks?
Is there something you want to save up for that you can earn daily or weekly (earning minutes or dollars for following through, and saving up for a larger reward after a period of time).


Here is one idea of a beautiful and helpful reward called "Count Me Healthy Jewelry" http://www.chelseacharles.com/howtouse.cfm

Please list your reward ideas in the comments section--this is always a challenge to come up with!!

How Positive are You?

Being positive can play a big role while you're trying to lose weight. It can be devastating to your progress if you only focus on the negatives. Common thoughts in the dieter's brain are things like, "I was so bad last night [because of my snacking]"; "I cheated"; "I'm a failure" and other similar ideas that fill the mind with self-doubt and even guilt.
That's one reason The Beck Diet Solution encourages you to focus on your successes! Give yourself credit! And why we start off each call with "What did you do well this week?" and "What do you deserve credit for?"

Focusing on the positive keeps you in a frame of mind that encourages you to move forward: Yes, recognize what you did and how you could do it differently (better) the next time; but then move on and don't dwell on it.

There's a book called "Positivity: The 3:1 ratio that can change your life". The theory is, the more positive thoughts you have, compared to your negative thoughts, the happier your life will be.

Here's the website http://positivityratio.com/ where you can take a quiz, and find out what your number is!

Feel free to comment on your score and to bring your results to our next call.

Are You Having Trouble Making New Habits?

I heard someone say the other day, "In order to get rid of bad habits, you have to replace them with good habits".
Learning something new doesn't come easy! When you feel like you'll never get into the routine of keeping a food diary, putting your fork down between bites, or passing the temptation of the cookie stores in the mall, try to remember other habits you've overcome in your life.

Maybe you quit smoking or stopped biting your nails. It was tough, but you've done it and now it's not a part of your life anymore!

Think of things you learned to do that seemed difficult at the time: Getting the hang of knitting or crocheting; learning to drive (how tough was that?!); playing tennis or some other activity that requires coordination. Things that are different for us do not come naturally.
Don't be discouraged if these new habits don't feel natural right away. With practice, they will!

One of my favorite examples of developing a habit is brushing your teeth. Remember when you were a kid or, even better, when your own kids were young. How tough was it to get them to brush their teeth! You had to remind them, coerce them, scold them, and finally, probably stand over them to be sure they weren't just wetting the toothbrush so you'd think they brushed their teeth! It was soooo easy for them to just go to bed (or off to school) and not give the toothbrush a thought.

Now, how does brushing your teeth fit into your life?

Do you have to set aside a planned time for it the night before? Put reminder post-it notes around the house? Mark it in your appointment book? The answer is most likely NO!
You probably have a time you brush your teeth  that fits into your morning routine, and a time in your bed-time routine as well. 
Do you ever think about it? 
Do you ever consider, "Hmm, I may not have time to brush my teeth this morning because I'm running late" or "I really want to sleep in a few more minutes--I'll just skip the toothbrushing thing this morning to get that extra shut-eye"!
Have you often skipped brushing your teeth in the evening? Maybe you just had a rough day and want to get in bed with a good book so you skip it? Again, I'll bet your answer is a loud NO!

One day, this is how exercise/food diary/fill in the healthy-activity here will fit into your life.

It will be something you do. Part of your routine. Something you don't think about whether to do or not!

Stick with the tough time of establishing a new habit; of making the right actions part of your daily routine. Some days you'll struggle and some days you'll forget.

But one day, 30 minutes of exercise, planning your meals ahead, keeping your food diary, and all these healthy habits will just become part of your routine. And then you won't ever have to go on a diet again!